Today I was awoken by my hair getting caught in the fan!!!

So I have finally reached a level of depression where I feel like I can finally write again. I woke up today with a very sharp pain on the top of my head. Turns out it is a bad idea to position your fan right next to your hair. I am now minus 10 hairs in the top of my head, which are now caught in my fan and I am sure will ultimately break the fan. I also have an amazing headache, a gigantic wound on my inner thigh that looks like i got hit by a nolan ryan fast ball (which I have no idea where it actually came from) and this venue (jannis landing in st pete) sucks balls. We (chimaira) have been on tour with the cartoon Dethklok for like 3 weeks. Every show has been sold out and awesome. Here is a day by day breakdown.
DAY 1 - portland or - dont remember shit about it. flight there sucked. probably rained.
DAY 2 - seattle wa - i am pretty sure this day also sucked. most likely also rained.
DAY 3 - medford or - yes we left oregon to head north to seattle but now we are back in oregon. this was a day off - i have actually been to medford oregon 3 times - which i am sure it is more times then any other person that isnt from there. went to the outback ate some shrimps - drank some booze - the day pretty much sucked
DAY 4 - san fran - this day was great. I love doing work for nothing - woke up, loaded in, did soundcheck, building caught on fire, loaded out - rock show canceled
DAY 5 - Los Angelos - I hate this fucking city - went to the esp guitars factory which sucked - met up with some old friends after the concert - but all in all the day sucked
DAY 6 - Vegas - Gambled $100 on red - won it - blew my winnings -today was the exact opposite of great.
DAY 7 - San Diego - dont remember - probably sucked
DAY 8 - Tuscon AZ - chimaira headliner (off date) - nobody cared
DAY 9 - Tempe AZ - dont remember - hot as balls - sucked??? yup
DAY 10 - Englewood CO - didnt have time to go to my favorite strip club (shotgun willies) therefore this day sucked
DAY 11 - Albuquerque NM - Matt was sick - no one to hang with - day sucked
DAY 12 - day off at mall of america - saw the worst movie ever (the happening) - t.g.i.fridays - all around waste of a day
DAY 13 - Minneapolis MN - found a great new strip club - possibly my new favorite - no idea what it was called but I definitely remember where it is - drew stafford (hockey player for the buffalo sabres) came out because he is a huge chimaira fan. He spent like $10,000 on getting us in a vip booth. this day kinda didnt suck
DAY 14 - Lawrence KS - dont remember - probably sucked - i did eat Buffalo Wild Wings and it was easily the highlight of the day
DAY 15 - Chicago IL - :)
DAY 16 - Pontiac MI - CELTICS WIN IT ALL - besides that, the rest of the day sucked - got mustard on my shirt!!!
DAY 17 - Cleveland - I didnt have fun but matt sure did - denny threw up - hometown gig for chimaira - nobody cared - got mustard on my shirt again!!
DAY 18 - Toronto - Played catch with spicuzza during the day - ate some food - got mustard on my shirt for the 3rd day in a row - went to a dance club - only white guy in there - went to bed
DAY 19 - chimaira off date headliner in grand rapids mi - nobody cared - drank way too much - refused to eat anything with mustard on it - missed bus call by 15 minutes
DAY 20 - day off at my house - thanks karma - had an elaborate pool party scheduled with the chimaira/unearth boys - of course it rained but we didnt let that slow us down - we bought a gigantic orange cooler like you see on the sidelines at football games, filled it with 5 gallons of long island ice tea ($100.77) bought $80 worth of meat and consumed!!! heard the makings of the new unearth record, sounds pretty good!!!
DAY 21 - worcester - saw some old friends - i hate hometown shows because i hate having to entertain people, but this time it was ok. dislocated my knee trying to do a drunken bunk maneuver.
DAY 22 - New York city - cant walk, knee is in excruciating pain - hate this city - everyone here sucks - i want to go back home!!!
DAY 23 - Baltimore - got to hang out with some of buddies from home that have relocated to baltimore - ate a burrito - drove with matt in a cab for 45 to get to a strip club, only to get there to realize that the girl we were going there to see (Jenna Hayes) had already left for day and we needed to leave pretty much right when got there because neither of us took the time to see how far away the club was and we needed to be back for bus call.
DAY 24 - Philly - hung out with my buddy jared from the bloodhound gang - too much jager - ate 2 philly cheese steaks ( i still swear they are better in lynn ma) - metal twins were in attendance - i smoked two cigarettes because that made sense to me at the time - hung out with ms jessica matthews - went to bed
DAY 25 - Fayetteville NC - chimaira headliner - afternoon consisted of putting quarter sticks of dynamite into things to see how high we could blow things into the air - go to CHIMAIRATUBE
to see the footage. day sucked
DAY 26 - Myrtle Beach - no i didnt go to the alligator farm - if youve been once, youve been a million times - day sucked
DAY 27 - Orlando - no i didnt have time to go to any theme parks and that is great because they are my favorite things to do in the world and why would i be able to do something during the day that I actually enjoy. Drank way too much - had to be put to bed - i think brendan from dethklok is mad at me?
Cant wait to see what tomorrow will bring.....