I've been beat on, snowed on, broken, and bruised.

I have now been on the road with the metal band "Unearth" for only 11 days. I've pushed the envelope of intoxication. I have now seen Nelly in concert (and even fixed his guitar). I've broken up 3 fights, been punched in the mouth, I've eaten 16 burritos, seen dudes puke, dislocated my right knee, eaten 42 boneless buffalo wild wings over 3 visits, been so drunk that I  don't even remember loading out, spent countless hours searching for dead bodies in wooded areas around the venues, tried to be turned into a vampire (its a long story), I have quit my job twice in drunken arguments, sprained my right ankle,  had an extremely infected left side of my face, got something that I have diagnosed as a minor case of strep throat, and strangely the only term that I can still use is: "LIVING THE DREAM". I am having a blast. We are riding in a bus that left Prevost factory on a beautiful afternoon back in 1987.  The interior is made of wood and the door opens with a crank like an old school bus and I love it. It makes me feel like I am living in an ol' cabin in the woods. So far on this bus we have shattered a rear window, broken a table, lost a window blind when the window smashed it got sucked out, broken the tile on the counters, a door, the paper towel holder, and the wooden lid that goes over the cooler. The best feature about this bus has to be that the engine pumps diesel fuel exhaust into the bunk area (where we all sleep). This is causing us all to have really weird/extreme dreams. For some reason, I continue to have dreams that ultimately end in someone in my life turning into an alien and leaving on the spaceship from "Flight of the Navigator". It is a reoccurring theme that I don't understand. Shows have been great. We are working up towards the Unearth record release date on tuesday Oct 14th. That should change everything about this tour. The record is going to come out and either flop causing everyone to drink more (if that is even possible) or the record is going to do great which will ultimately cause everyone to drink more (if that is even possible). Yesterday I got to deal with my first blizzard of the tour. I am talking full on roads closed, snow banks, break out the boots and the shovel...BLIZZARD. Unfortunately, the heaviest piece of clothing I packed was a light spring zip up hoody, which now sit balled up in a corner soaking wet. Definitely did not plan on snow.  A couple of days ago we had a day off in lovely Lansing, Il. This was a day not to be forgotten. Started the day with a 2 mile walk to target to pickup my prescription (reference the swollen face above), only to sit there for 3 hours until the pharmacy idiots and the health insurance idiots got on the same page and got me my meds. Ate at Applebee's (gross). Had to do a demo for every person on the wait staff about my tattoos (for those who know me, you know I hate talking about my tattoos), then went to hooters and ate/drink $100 worth of wings, beers, and margaritas. I feel pretty comfortable in saying that none of the hooters girls from the Lansing, Il sector will be appearing the hooters calendar this year. Built a beer funnel and went to bed. All around waste of a day. It was great.