i've heard about it happening, but i never thought it would happen to me...

Here I sit in El paso, Tx on my second day off on this tour in 16 days. I dont exactly have anything lined up for today yet, but lets be honest people...IT'S FUCKING EL PASO TEXAS - probably going to suck. So let me bring you back to the evening before last. Hollywood CA - record release day for Unearth - all management/record label reps/a&r reps and anyone else that just love to buy a dude like me free drinks. But surprisingly I somehow managed to stay sober. Unfortunately I can not say some the same for our illustrious tour manager (whose named I will with hold because of ruining him professionally isnt how I roll, but for the stories sake I will refer to him as "Dudewhopissedonmelikeadog"). So for some reason I am the first person to go to bed around 4 am. On a tour bus there are a few things that will make a dude wake up pretty much immediately; for example: tour bus breaks locking up, sounds of a girl moaning, when someone touches the curtain to your bunk, and the very distinct sound of someone pissing where they should not be pissing. A few hours after i went to bed I was awoken abruptly to someone wrestling with my curtain. That person unknown to me at the time was Dudewhopissedonmelikeadog. He was so drunk that he was trying to get into my bunk because my bunk is comfortably located on the bottom where it is easy enough for anyone to roll into at a time of over consumption (the reason I picked it). His bunk is on the top which requires several acrobatic maneuvers to enter. So after him trying to force his way into my bunk for about 5 minutes and me trying to convince him that his bunk was above mine, I closed my curtain and positioned myself so he wouldn't be able to enter even if i fell asleep. Then I remember that all of a sudden his aggressive maneuvers to enter my bunk abruptly stopped. Curiosity got the better of me and i once again opened my curtain. The next site I would see was one that I will not soon forget. I opened the curtain just in time to see him reposition himself on all fours like a dog, lift a leg, and proceed to piss (through his boxers) all over my curtain, sheets, comforter, his own shoes and the rug. Fortunately there was enough depth to my bunk that allowed me to avoid getting piss on my person. Now you have to be very careful how you handle someone like this who is in such a deep state of intoxication but his next move was the one that blew my mind. Immediately after he completed "Piss on Grizz Fest 2008" he seemed to pull himself together and go directly to the  bathroom. Dudewhopissedonmelikeadog's actions ultimately would cause me to have to spend the entire night in the front lounge which was a lot less than 5 star accomidations. Cant wait to see what tomorrow brings. :)